dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
