At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think I sprained my soul last night
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
