I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
