I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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