The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
