I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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