so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
this hospital has no fireball
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
