so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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