I just cut my nipple shaving
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
either way he was missing a nipple.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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