Your tits are I can't wait for
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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