Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
