After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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