69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
