Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You've changed since you got that strap on
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
