saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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