Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My cat gives me a boner
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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