Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
