Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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