i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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