College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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