Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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