WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
