you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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