could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
