Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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