yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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