wrigley field is MILF paradise
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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