you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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