While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
