What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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