My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
