9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
