fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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