I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
