How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
