Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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