Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
