my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
