Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
