Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
