i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It's just like the Real World with babies
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
