sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
