cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
