hotel room ftw
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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