I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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