I think I am morally bankrupt
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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