do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
