defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
