We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
