If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i need some magic done to my vagina
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
